The Day Nazarick Stood Still
by Above.them.all
Summary: One of the supreme beings was caught in the world but Ainz never noticed because this supreme being was trippin balls lost in a field the whole time. Swears a lot be warned...
1. Chapter 1

_**The Day Nazarick Stood Still**_

Alone in a field of endless grass a single man stumbles through the field butt ass naked. Covered in blood, this man mumbles incoherently as he makes his way to wherever he may be going.

He broke out into song. "OooooHHH wer the wind take me is wer ill gooooo go go go..." But before long he stopped walking staring down at the grass with nothing short of pure killing intent plastered all across his face.

He wobbled and stumbled before shouting at the top of his lungs. "Oh you wana one of them dies don't ya bitch!..." a long silence followed as he stared at the grass below his feet waiting for an answer. "I said… bitch, _i_ said... stop tickling on my feets ya grass pixie motherfuckers!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" the delusional man let loose his most fearsome battle cry as he materialised a massive .50 caliber minigun from thin air, letting thousands of bullets loose at the ground.

Nearly ten minutes later the man ran out of ammo tossing his gun aside as it dematerialized. The ground was completely obliterated with more bullet casings than dirt. "HA! I made you my bitch, bitch." he groggily walked off into the forest in the distance as the blood dried to his shiny skin.

* * *

 **Two weeks earlier…**

The most patriotic scene ever created. That was the only way to explain how Reagan looked. He stood tall riding a massive eagle 2000 feet in the air. His fully star spangled armor covered his body making him look like a robot sent from the future to kill any and all threats to freedom.

"'Merica, Fuck yea! Commin again to save the motherfuckin day yea!"

"Reagan774 inbound! Whooooooo!" Reagan sat atop a glorious dragon sized eagle soaring through the sky as free as a bird.

"Im disembarking Sam." with that Reagan slowly leaned off of the massive eagles neck falling to the ground as calm as ever.

Just before hitting the ground Reagan right sided himself, pulling two identical rocket launchers out from either side of his pocket dimension. With a blast he let loose two rockets allowing the recoil to slow his descent.

The blast from the rockets pulverized the ground where he would be landing making the landing even more dramatic. Reagan stood up and walked out of the flaming inferno he had created. "Terrorists your game is through! Ha… damn...haa this sucks..."

Reagan had loved dropping into dungeons with his silly American quotes. But today was the last day the server would run so the admin had shut down the movement of the monsters leaving him with nothing left to do.

"After this dungeon maybe i should go visit Momonga, i doubt the rest of the gang came, probably only him…"

"CAWWW!" Sam, Reagan's giant pet eagle swooped down from the sky, shrinking in size until he landed on Reagan's right shoulder. "Come on bud, one last dungeon crawl… one last adventure…"

The pain in his voice was plain for all to hear. This game was the only real place he could connect with people ever since he was paralyzed in a car crash six years ago. Nowhere else could he walk, nowhere else would anyone look down on him as if he need to be helped.

Yggdrasil was his home away from home, a place he could help other rather than be helped, a place where he was free to explore unknown lands, traverse mountains, swim in rivers, and make friends.

Here, in this land, he could talk with the other 40 guild members as peers rather than a useless stephen Hawking rolling around in his chair aimlessly all day.

Reagan was on the verge of tears, his real body that is, as his virtual golem body couldn't cry. He pushed away all thoughts of sadness and walked into the cave before him.

Unlike the times before this, the monsters didn't move so Reagan simply walked past them to the center, the heart of the dungeon. Within minutes he reached the end of the dungeon.

In front of him was a massive spider with the body of a woman. "Another one of you… i was hoping for something new." he sighed and passed the spider woman completely.

Reagan stood next to a small golden chest at the end of the dungeon. "Let see what goodies you got...maybee my first personal world item..." Reagan knew there was no chance but a boy could always hope.

He opened the chest revealing hardly anything. "10,034 gold, four silk of sarcadia, ten arrows of lust, and ?" four question marks and a blacked out silhouette, an item he had never discovered before. "Yes! We have at least a little good fortune today Sam!"

He took everything the chest had to offer. There was only one thing he was really after though, this new item. He inspected it revealing it to be a small magic item about the size of a golf ball. "Dwarves burden… what kind of item is that… well i won't know its effects untill i use it or ask momonga to analyze it with magic for me."

Reagan thought about it for a while but he came to the same conclusion over and over, "gotta try it, it's the last day anyway… what is the worst it could do?"

Reagan activated the magic item and immediately regretted it. "Whoooaaa… i feel whoosy..." He fell on his ass. The world around him began to swirl. "Dude… i'm trippin mad virtual balls…"

Reagan had been sitting staring at the spider lady in front of him for hours now quietly going "whoaa _that_ is a big ass…" over and over game had not more than ten minutes left before the closing of the servers. When he heard his message spell try to connect. "Is that MooMooNga…. How the fuck does i do my… thing… mys meessage….ohhhh." Reagan blacked out.

* * *

Reagan awoke in a grassy field with his bird sam trippin balls beside him. Wobbling all around and cawing at the wind before getting stuck upside down. To which reagan said. "Whose upside dowr ya or the world…. Think your brain abot thet!"

For two days he sat around just looking at the grass imagining pixies running around him teasing him about his broken legs.

"SAM!" he screamed. "Dontcha think its like real hot…. Imma just take off my clothe." he did as he said and unequipped his gear into his pocket dimension. "Dat riy dare is much beter. Right SAM!"

He looked over to where Sam should have been still stuck upside down. To his surprise Sam was gone. "Dem damn commies gots to SAM!"

He stood up fuming mad and marched off butt ass naked to find his pet.


	2. Chapter 2

Deep in the great forest, nearly 200 elves camped out in the center of the woods all fully armed to the teeth. Each one wore a dark green cloak covering their whole body and face.

Suddenly the group of armed elves assembled into five squads of neatly formed lines.

A single elf rose up from the crowd to speak. "My brothers and sisters, I have been given the order to explain the mission…"

The crowd murmured slightly.

"As you know we had to move in complete secrecy in order to slip past the enemy, but now we are nearly there, so you all shall be informed of your duties." The elf presenting looked around at his soldiers and thought. _Not nearly enough, this is suicide with number this little. What was he thinking?_

Nevertheless the commander continued on. "The monument of destruction… it defiles our forest, our home, our very way of life. Too many of our brothers have lost their lives in the battles against this great foe. Today, today my fellow elves we will triumph! We have seen one of the monuments workers, lupilu beta, this lulipulu beta has been seen in a small village due north of here, leading us to believe it is a village which acts as some sort of military dump."

The soldiers nodded in unison. The knew attacking the monument meant instant death, but if they attacked a small village they were sure they could prevail, even if it was connected to the monument.

"We will attack the village and all like it to sever their supply line, thus cutting…." The commander stopped his words mid sentence as his face contorted to one of pure confusion. "who the hell are you?"

"...hey…" Reagan walked through the crowd of people not even giving then the time of day. His back was hunched over, his arms dangled from his sides, and his eyes were dead.

Not a single soldier could speak, they had set up magical barriers, no one could enter here. Yet this butt naked man drenched in dried blood waltzed through their lines as if they were not worth looking at.

Pwwoooop! Reagan left the magical protection bubble and continued on his way. "I want mi bwerd…"

The commander of the elves stood in shock, "what the hell just happened… men! Attack that village before we're found out go! go !go! go!"

* * *

"Fuckin commie ghosts tryin to steal our rockets… gonna paint the moon pink and draw lenin on it… they don't even know their dead! Damn commie ghosts!"

Reagan advanced ever forward to the village in front of him. It was a large village, in fact it was too large to be a village considering the size of it's walls.

All around Reagan all two hundred elves fully cloaked in green sprinted past him up to the walls of the village, who seemed more than prepared with lots of small green men ready with bows atop The Wall.

As soon as the elves reached the walls they discarded their cloaks revealing swords and staves of every assortment. But most troubling of all was the collar of their uniforms underneath the cloak… bright red.

"Reagan's eyes flared, red commies!" then he saw their ears, pointy and long. "Giant...red… communist... pixies….ARRRRRR!" from either side of his pocket dimension he pulled out two identical .50 caliber miniguns. "splosive rounds mother fuckers!"

A veritable hailstorm of explosive bullets rained from the sky tuning the elves into nothing more than paste.

"Bed bath and beyond mother fuckers!"

* * *

"Shit! shit! shit! Lord Ainz is gonna kill me!" Lupusregina exited the gate Shalltear had created for her and flew down to Carne village as fast as she could.

 _No! nooo!_ All Lupusregina saw was a field of unrecognizable chunks of flesh. Then from the corner of her eye she saw a single figure of a naked man covered in blood crash through the wall at the entrance of town shouting. "OH YEEAAA!" While vigorously thrusting at the air.


	3. Chapter 3

Lupusregina readied her weapon in mid air and began her descent. "Die you scum!" she catapulted towards the ground picking up speed as she held out her weapon in front of her like a hammer falling from the sky, using its momentum to pound the enemy in the head as she landed.

Like a asteroid, she collided with the enemy man's head creating a metallic clanging sound so loud it could surely be heard for miles. The vibrations from the attack coiled up her arms and passed through her body nearly disassembling her at the atomic level. _This pain is nothing! For the supreme beings, i would take ten times worse!_

Lupusregina stood up with weak legs. "Why did that hurt so much… it shouldn't have hurt so much… I lost so much HP from attacking…?" Lupusregina was on her last nerve, when she got word of the attack on Carne she had utterly panicked and dropped everything even her normal attitude. She left it all, scattering to reach Carne in order to not succumb to her masters wrath and be killed for disappointing him twice, no being killed by her master was not what she feared it was going down in history as a disgrace to her creator and all the supreme beings that had created Nazarick.

She stood up on the knocked out cold body of the naked man and looked over to the town the sight of which made her utterly grateful to her God. Enri and the rest of the people Lord Ainz had set aside as protected were safe. A great swell of relief came over her whole being and her attitude returned to normal.

"Enri and the little squirt are still alive… I must thank The supreme beings for this." she said sounding a little nervous.

Enri who was surrounded by goblin soldiers walked out to speak to Lupusregina. "Who is that man? Lupusregina?"

"Who this guy? How am I supposed to now I just got here?" Lupusregina looked down at the man and in the back of her head, something stung her like she had forgotten something integral to her very existence.

"Though he has to be really strong to be able to take a full power shot from me with no armor whatsoever. And a serious exhibitionist…"

As Lupusregina was about to grab his shiny hair and pull up his face from the ground Enri asked another question. "And why did he kill all those elves attacking the village."

Right before Lupusregina's hand grabbed the man she stopped and looked at Enri. "wait he was saving you?"

"Well… I think… right… I don't know it was hard to tell he looked kind of drunk to me…"

A dwarf who had come out to see the commotion spoke up. "That wasn't just being Drunk. Trust me I know drunk and that wasn't it."

Lupusregina grabbed his head and pulled it up from the ground to reveal not a knocked out man but a man whose body seemed to be made from metals whose colors matched those of human skin. He was a beautiful man who rivaled that of the greatest models. An almighty golem made from godly metals. "...Reagan774-sama…" Out of pure shock, Lupusregina dropped him down on the ground again.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Lupusregina screamed tearing at her hair furiously. Her body turned white as a ghost and she looked over to Nfirea, eyes bloodshot. She shouted at him. "Get me every potion you have!"

Nfirea froze in terror at the sight of the mad dog that was Lupusregina. One of the goblins shook himself off and pushed Nfirea, jolting him back into motion. Nfirea ran like a madman grabbing every potion he had successfully created while working for Ainz.

He rushed out back to Lupusregina throwing the potions into her arms.

Lupusregina grabbed the potions hungrily. She dumped them all over the naked man repeatedly pleading while crying "Have mercy! please, have mercy!"

The whole village was silent save for Lupusregina's desperate and disgraceful pleading. What was going on here? Who was this man who could send the composed and predatory Lupusregina into such a state?

Suddenly the man rolled over facing straight up. She groggily stood up patting his head. Then he looked down. "Great… why do I always wake up naked? Luci*fer did you take my shit!?... huu, oh it's in my inventory…" in a flash armor like a future cyborg appeared all over his body like he had never been naked.

THUD!

"Hmm?" Reagan turned around looking to the ground he saw a girl in a maid uniform with her head stuck in the ground. Faint muffled apologies could be heard but her head was completely submerged so one would be hard pressed to decipher all of them.

Reagan looked to Enri who was still frozen from bafflement. "Who is the ostrich girl?"

* * *

 _I was in that cave. So how did I get here? Could this be a little easter egg for players who stayed on until the end?_ Reagan knew his surroundings were different from before but all he could remember was using that strange magic item then appearing here out of the blue. "Oh I get it, that item was a teleportation item!"

Reagan completely ignored the strange ostrich NPC with her head planted in the dirt. He had a habit of putting off quests until he had fully explored the area. "I'll do her quest later… what I wanna know is why all these NPC's are staring at me?"

Reagan was curious about the behavior of the NPC's around him, they seemed to follow a whole new set of AI's. there's was no other explanation for how smooth their movements were, they almost seemed lifelike, whereas all NPC's usually followed specifics sets of movements.

Reagan moved up to the little girl who was surrounded by goblins. He curiously inspected her face poking her forehead with his finger.

As he did so the goblins formed a barrier around him and the girl, snarling at him. "Don't you dare touch General Enri!"

"Wow, it almost seems real enough to pick him up..." Reagan advanced and plucked one of the goblins up and inspected him like a teddy bear.

The goblin thrashed and screamed hitting Reagan repeatedly with his sword. Which clanged off of Reagan's metallic body. "Hmm." Reagan readied his middle finger and his thumb as if he were going to flick away a bug. He put it up to the goblin's head and let loose.

The goblin's body went limp as his brains were scattered all over the other goblins and the little girl. "Whoa! T-That looked real… no. no, I has to be… Yggdrasil would never allow that… what is going on!"

"ARRR! Attack!" one of the goblins shouted.

The rest of the goblins rushed Reagan attacking him repeatedly from all sides. Their flurry of attacks would surely kill any normal person. But to a level 100 heavy gunner like him it was not even ticklish, just an annoyance to his ears.

Reagan was still stunned from what he had just seen, no from what he had just done, when all of the goblins attacking him fell to the ground like puppets whose strings had been cut. "Wha-"

Reagan was cut off by the ostrich NPC from earlier. She was in an animalistic pose with her weapon ready to kill anything which may come his way. Strangely enough, she looked as if she was trying to protect Reagan. "What insolence! To attack a Supreme bei.." her words cut off and she looked back to Reagan crying. "F-F-Forgive me! I shall accept my fate as you deem it!"

Reagan looked stunned. He knew this girl but from where? "...Lupusregina beta… is that you?" he grabbed her by the chin looking over her face.

She immediately responded. "You wish to flick this stupid insolent one's skull into oblivion like the goblins! Please do as you wish with me!"

Reagan was stunned. "What the fuck is going on here?"


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter Two: Escape the Future**_

 _ **74 years in the future…**_

On the eve of the day everything went wrong all of Nazarick stood still, no, not just Nazarick but the whole world stood still, as if it held its breath in silence. On this day each year not a sole would speak, not a soul would work, not a soul would dispute this unwritten law. For who alive could even think to disgrace his majesty the sorcerer king, the sorcerer supreme, after what he had done.

This was a day of reverence, a day of mourning, a day more holy than the gods themselves.

Today every able bodied man woman and child made a pilgrimage to the sacred spot which could only be accessed once a year. Thousands made their way to the heart of E-Rantel all in a neatly formed line.

All of the people nobles, peasants, and beggars alike wore their best clothing and walked together with their heads to the ground and a small metal pebble in hand. One by one the people made their way to a massive 20 foot tall golden pillar engraved with a story.

A monument to commemorate that day.

Each of the people kneeled down placing their small metal pebble at the base of the pillar, kissing their hand then placing their hand on the pillar before walking away.

As the day wore on the mound of metal pebbles covered the 20 foot pillar as the last person made their offering.

The sun set ending the day.

When the sun rose once more on the eve of the day Nazarick stood still. Only one person could be seen in the courtyard placed around the pillar of gold. He was a large man shrouded in black cloth so dark it looked as if it had been cut from the very night itself, the sorcerer supreme, Ainz.

Ainz knelt down placing a pebble like the rest of the people had one the day before. "Accept this as an apology to Nazarick, and all of Ainz Ooal Gown…" his voice was wavering like that of a sad puppy.

Repeated flashing covered his body as his passive skill cut his emotions away.

The pebbles of metal melted away becoming a liquid mass of metal that quickly seeped into the large golden pillar.

Ainz stood. "If only i had died before it all went wrong… will the guardians ever be able to forgive me? They had stated so… but what if they still hold a grudge deep in their heart…"

Ainz did this every year letting all his frustrations flow out as he let out his deepest insecurities. "And what of the others, all 39 of them? What would they say if they knew what i did. Would they disown me, take my place as ruler of this world away, or just kill me outright… what ever happens i'll accept it."

* * *

The world became distorted like it was being compressed through a tube as Marens vision ended.

She stumbled backwards before looking out to her children. "The final prediction has been bestowed upon me by our great creator. It will surely come to pass just as he has allowed me to see it. Nazarick will stand still for the first time in just two days."

"Line up children."

Each of the children, who looked identical to Maren just a foot shorter, lined up pulling a gun from their pockets and placing it to their head. In unison they shouted. "To meet with our great creator in the heavens."

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

All five of the children fell to the ground, lifeless, like puppets whose strings had been cut.

Maren fell to her knees crying.

 **AUTHORS NOTES: Updates are slow and short because i now have 3 jobs totaling at around 70 hours a week so i have little time to write… sorry just bear with it. I'll update whenever i get the chance.**


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